On July 24, 2008, Todd and I said hello and goodbye to our precious baby girl, Kloe Elizabeth. It has been a year, and only now can I find the strength to update my blog. The intention of the blog in the beginning was to post and share pictures of our little Kloe with loved ones who were far way and couldn’t come see her. But now I feel compelled to add to it. . .albeit for different reasons. Most people don't understand what happened and it's human nature to let your mind wander to crazy stuff. We didn't fully understand until 2 days after my emergency c-section. Let me start by saying, Kloe was an absolutely perfect baby. . .not one single thing was wrong with her. She had curly hair like me. . .in fact Todd swears she looked just like me. She was 7lbs. 3ozs. and perfect. I know I am biased because I am her mom but everyone who saw her or a picture of her says the same. The problem was with the placenta. The medical name is Velamentous Trivascular Cord Insertion. But basically, the cord attached to the bag of water instead of directly on the placenta so the blood vessels and arteries had to stretch across the bag to supply the nutrients to her. All was good until my water broke. The pressure of it severed both of the fetal arteries and Kloe started bleeding. Because of her size they say she could only sustain that for about 3 minutes. It took them 20 to get her out.
The doctors said it was good that I was in the hospital when my water broke because I was bleeding out too. The chances of Todd getting me to the hospital in time to save us both was small. Not much consolation at the time but a blessing just the same. We have talked to multiple doctors since about how Vilamentous cord insertion happens and why. They all have said it extremely rare, has nothing to do with fertility treatments, it is not genetic and almost impossible to detect on an ultrasound. My good friend in Indy who is an OB said, "It's like, girl, go buy a lottery ticket". . .only not the good kind. The single thing that would have saved Kloe was an elective c-section. But who would have known? No one would sign up for a c-section with a first baby following a perfect pregnancy. No one.
During this past year Todd and I have learned that grieving is a process. Some days are better than others, nothing fixes what has happened, it will always hurt, and we will always miss her. But we have hope that there are brighter days ahead and that we will have joy and happiness in our lives again. We don't know how or when and it is extremely hard. We hold on to each other and to our faith so that one day we will see her again. She brought so much to our lives -- and given all that has happened, we would do it all over again. She was the best.
The doctors said it was good that I was in the hospital when my water broke because I was bleeding out too. The chances of Todd getting me to the hospital in time to save us both was small. Not much consolation at the time but a blessing just the same. We have talked to multiple doctors since about how Vilamentous cord insertion happens and why. They all have said it extremely rare, has nothing to do with fertility treatments, it is not genetic and almost impossible to detect on an ultrasound. My good friend in Indy who is an OB said, "It's like, girl, go buy a lottery ticket". . .only not the good kind. The single thing that would have saved Kloe was an elective c-section. But who would have known? No one would sign up for a c-section with a first baby following a perfect pregnancy. No one.
During this past year Todd and I have learned that grieving is a process. Some days are better than others, nothing fixes what has happened, it will always hurt, and we will always miss her. But we have hope that there are brighter days ahead and that we will have joy and happiness in our lives again. We don't know how or when and it is extremely hard. We hold on to each other and to our faith so that one day we will see her again. She brought so much to our lives -- and given all that has happened, we would do it all over again. She was the best.
